Death of a Thonghorn

Although my prior "Thonghorn" post was intended as a joke, the more I pondered it, the more I wondered if it was a commercially viable idea. Could this be the part-time opportunity that I have been searching for to wean myself off Corporate America? The serendipity of it all made me think that it was fate; I just knew that I was meant to peddle women's undergarments in the shape of a bull's head.

I immediately initiated a "Thonghorn" search on the internet with no significant hits. The lack of search results encouraged me further, so I searched for domain names. To my dismay, thonghorn.com was already taken, but it was registered in Australia. Certainly, this couldn't have anything to do with my ingenious idea, and besides, Texasthonghorn.com was still available. I found a contract lingerie manufacturer in Los Angeles and was ready to pack my bags to ink a deal. I was already expanding my product line to include a Thonghorn bikini and other Texas schools such as the SMU Mus-thong and the Texas Tech "Panty" Raider. But most of all, I was eagerly anticipating the model search which, in my mind, resembled the recent Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search and reality television series. And my target market? A never-ending flow of freshman sorority girls, their boyfriends, and overzealous Texas Longhorn football fans trying to relive/prolong their youth, both men and women alike (present company included).

Luckily for me, I have a friend who is an intellectual property attorney, so I asked him what he thought about the idea. He said that I could not use the likeness of the Texas Longhorn silhouette if it in any way alluded to the University of Texas. Well, that kind of defeats the point. I then asked if Licensing was a possibility, and he said that this was a prohibited item and highly unlikely that it would be approved. He probably thinks I am a moron.

Well, I let my enthusiastic optimism get the best of me, and it temporarily blinded me from reality. Needless to say, I was bummed all day long. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Maybe I should stick to running.